"average person hath borne me on his back 3 times" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person hath borne me on his back 0 times. Alas, poor Yorick, who hath borne me on his back a thousand times, was an outlier adn should not have been counted
This is the most brilliant one of these things I’ve ever seen.
Look at this:
You see that little chink in the Winter Soldier’s goggles, that makes him take off his eyewear
and show us those baby blues? Black Widow did that. Let me repeat that:
Black Widow, shooting from under an underpass to the top level of a freeway, shot the eye out of the world’s deadliest assassin with a 9mm pistol. If it weren’t for his eye protection, she would have killed him.
I have heard some idiots whine that Black Widow can’t hold her own movie because she’s underpowered with her two tiny wee pistols and garrote. They’re not listening to themselves. Black Widow goes up against gods and monsters with nothing but two tiny wee pistols and a garrote because that’s all she needs.
i need more of natasha romanoff being brusque and unexpected when demonstrating physical affection to her loved ones (like a cat):
steve sits down on the couch with a beer and a bowl of pretzels and the next second natasha’s on his lap, drinking his beer and feeding him pretzels and steve can’t complain, he guesses, until she changes his nature documentary (steve loves nature documentaries ;____;) to one of those horrible Syfy Originals movies because why watch shark week when you can watch sharknado?? clearly.
bucky’s standing in the kitchen, sliding cucumbers, his arm a whirr of motion when natasha just sidles up and delicately runs her nose against the curve of his jaw and presses a tiny kiss to his chin and disappears before he even has the time to drop his knife and turn around
sam’s talking to someone, he’s always talking to someone when natasha sneaks up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist and starts petting his abs and chest. sam of course doesn’t mind, he flexes for her and laughs, “you make me feel like a piece of meat”. “steak.” natasha says, and playfully bites his neck.
she and clint pickpocket from eachother just super casually?? like, clint just keeps things in his pocket for her like those orange tictacs she loves but’ll never buy herself and silly caricatures he draws of their teammates (the one of tony was amazing and priceless and natasha still has it). and natasha’ll carry stray bandages for when clint does little stupid things and airplane bottles of liquor for when he does big stupid things and they just brush past each other and take what they need and sometimes there’s groping.
natasha being the biggest moocher on the planet. she’ll steal your fries and a sip of your beer and demand you try her pasta and feed you bites of gelato from her spoon
I’m for protective!Bucky headcanons as much as the next person, but can we add in some Peggy? She’s at least as recklessly brave as Steve (more so if you consider the fact that she’d be easier to kill and thus has reason to be more cautious) and I just really like to think about Bucky spending most of his time during the war yelling at Steve for being a self-sacrificing idiot only to realize that Peggy and Steve are smirking and exchanging looks because they’re both totally ridiculous daredevils. (✿◠‿◠)
steve leading the way
peggy right behind reloading
bucky chasing them both cursing uselessly
#BASICALLY #I CAN IMAGINE BUCKY GETTING TO KNOW PEGGY GOES FROM ‘DANG YOU’RE HOT’ TO ‘I LIKE YOU BECAUSE YOU LIKE STEVE LIKE I DO’ #TO ‘NO WAIT WAIT YOU DON’T HAVE TO PROVE ANYTHING STEVE PUT THAT DOWN’ #’HEY PEGGY GUESS HOW MANY DOZEN SOLDIERS I HAD TO PICK OFF THE WALLS FOR YOU TO SNEAK IN BECAUSE IT WAS A LOT’ #’OH YOU TWO HAD HYDRA ON THE ROPES DID YOU THAT’S GREAT THAT’S REALLY GREAT’ (via intrikate88)